No, Please, Not Again

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At the bottom of an ocean clear and blue

There are ragged rocks and fishes few

Where an evil jellyfish lurks alone

And haunts my mind unseen, unknown

 

It raised its head! My heart skipped a beat

I paused mid-step in the middle of the street

The monster clamped on in a burst of foam

And panic and fear screamed Get back home!

 

Danger stalked me as I glanced around

Terror crept in if I stood my ground

I ran through the streets at a frenzied pace

A scarf wrapped loosely to hide my face

I burst into my house, my breath robbed

Feel to my knees, and hard I sobbed

Hauled myself up onto my bed

Safe in my house, but not in my head

 

I

Morning soon arrived, enter Day One

The fabric of sanity had come undone

Morbidly certain it would be a rough ride

I wrapped myself up and wanted to hide

 

Trapped in a mist that swirled and wailed

I watched it stranded, alien and ailed

Glass shattered around me as I floated along

I did not feel real, I could not belong

 

Muddled, befuddled, I shed the first tear

The vacuum and the grief, now so familiar

The weight in my chest grew oh so strong

What could I fight when nothing was wrong?

 

I was the monster devouring me whole

A weariness in my bones, a sickness in my soul

I pleaded with myself as I tried not to weep:

Please brain, I am tired, can’t we just sleep?

II

Stillness came with the start of Day Two

In the blackness of the pit, what could I do?

I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling

No trace of thought, no trace of feeling

 

I ventured out to skate, as I had done for years

But only hugged a car and burst into tears

There were people watching, I realised hazy

They left me alone, the crying woman crazy

 

I searched within for an answer to no question

The path barred firm by a well of depression

But what would I find? A tortured mind —

A giant hooded figure walking two steps behind

 

I cursed myself for the drama unneeded

For logic and reason abandoned, unheeded

There was no hooded figure, the hood was on me

Like quicksand, a heavy hand, crushing me in glee

 

III

I awakened slowly to the break of Day Three

My heart felt light and my head felt free

There were tears again, but that was alright

For they now marked the end of a fight

 

I cried softly for peace lost and found

Leant on the window and soaked in the sound

Of music in my mind and the quiet in me

Revelling in the beauty I could finally see

 

I stared out in joy, no longer blind

Unshackled at last from the leeches of the mind

The war would go on but the battle was done

Would I call it over or could I call it won?

 

I whispered with a sigh, I am not okay

They will find me again, will not they?

But for now they are gone and only words remain

As my world turns okay this time again

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